Economic Stimulus Packages with NO Tax money needed to work

 

 

 

How to save the economy.The best stimulus packages that can be implemented with little or no bailouts.

1. Go to Seattle. Wait outside of Starbucks or some other rich guy hangout. Mug Bill Gates’ ass.

65 Billion dollars to spread with everyone. No government intervention. No tax increase. Tax payers and non tax payers alike can benefit. Close to Canada to deposit the money in Cuban bank. 120 million people get about $400 dollars.

Best Part:

Bill Gates can have Microsoft screw up bank transfers to get it back. LIke a mo’effin pirate, 21st century style, No boats.

2. This is a 60s style – take it to the street – or the lawns. If everyone who is pissed off with the bailout runs outside to the local courthouse and craps on the lawn of the building at every opportunity for “release”, a major stinkification will occur. A simple chant to the tune of “Livin La Vida Loca” that says: “we’ll poop and poop and poop and poop, and poop and poop and poop. We won’t stop until you give us $50,000 a pieeece.’ It will work in minimum 8 weeks.

Best part:

Mass demonstrations lead to little or no jail time for participants.

The newly fertilized ground may grow enough to cause a non-tropical rainforest complete with 50 foot bees.

The Not so hot:

The town smells. So if you live in Detroit it may not do much to cause an incease in “”odor”.

3. Change you name. Become Miguel Gonzales or something.

Then you can work under the table with out paying taxes. The economhy will fail and look kind of like parts of Nevada with no sewage (80% of the place) . The econmyu will fail, but you will have money. Now, the process of changing identity will surely benefit Pacos Fish, Tacos, Pawn Shop, and INsurance shack that resides under the bridge. This money is bound to come back into the economy ecause you have dirt on Paco. You’ll threaten to report him the the Feds if he doesn’t buy 75 tomatos from you newly found fruit business also known as a stolen shopping cart. Ka ching.

The Best Part:

Choosing your new name.

The Not so Hot:

It may lead to Japanese invasion of Montana, but that is somewhat acceptable.

 

The Bailout Plan Explained with Stick Figures

 

One day, the banks did not have enough money to give to their customers because they were big stupid greedy doo-doo heads. 

They ran out of money because they asked for amounts of money that did not exist!  No one could pay back the loan.  Then, the people who had money in the bank wanted it back before the bank loses it all.  People took their money out, then the banks had none left.  Yet, the banks held all the money in the country.

So for the second time in history, the U.S.’s money was invisible!  But they had a lot to pay – to their customers, employees, and others who THEY took money from!

The government decided to make a bill that would essentially take alllll the money the banks need to pay as their responsibility. 

Now, they are not only running the two biggest lenders, but all of the financial part of Wall Street!

 

The government owns everything now!

However, the government does not have enough money either.

So they ask to borrow it from the most friendly and helpful country in the world… if you are a masacist… China!!

Now, China owns the banks, essentially!

And they own YOUR money, essentially!

So by the time you go to the store tommorow, you are in a COMMUNIST/SOCIALIST regime!

 

free trips to china

!

Yet, there are still non government owned businesses in China.  These are U.S. businesses that ran away from American because the taxes are too high.  They said it wasn’t good for capitalism, or them, to stay in America and not outsource.

So now, there is no capitalism in US! Then there is no probelm to begin with.

We’ll just have to accept being a colony of China.

Hey, at least you cannot ever say there will be a stolen election!

Because freedom of speech will be obliterated!

Yay! Go USA!

Greek Island Files to Trademark Lesbian

ATHENS, GREECE FrenchTV1.com – The island of Lesbos has a problem with homosexuals.

The Greek island of Lesboshas filed an official request to trademark the word “Lesbian”, since its ineffective efforts to change the feminine term for a homosexual. 

The word lesbian actually derives from the isle of Lesbos, which was described in ancient times as a place where women “loved one another like nowhere else”.

Being culturally conservative as Greeks are, especially by modern European standards, the residents and leadership of Lesbos are no different.  The labelling of a homosexual as a lesbian in the vast majority of languages and its direct link to the region have offended and embarrassed its citizens.

“I am ashamed to be a Lesbo,” an elderly resident said.  “It makes other woman think I want to kiss and touch and lick and grasp when I visit others in Europe”.

She continued, “it also makes them think I want to suckle and slurp and frolick and grope and f******* and f*** and do things with cucumbers that none could imagine!” 

After complaining to linguistic leaders in Europe and North America, the response was less than what the Lesbians — those from Lesbos, not homosexuals  (although there can be homosexual Lesbians from Lesbos which makes for a good SAT question) — wanted. 

So, the next option was to profit from the term.  Several submissions have been filed in England, Canada, France, Germany, Austria, as well as the U.S.  The next shot maybe for the U.N., as China and India have 0 to .0000000001% to abide by international copyright and Trademark law. Then again, the U.N. is as strong as a those cheap triangular paper cups used in offices for hot water. 

Campaigns for a successful Trademark case have already been discussed, including a theme park called “Homoland”. T-Shirts and heavy advertising have also been set to launch abroad reading “I visited the Land of Lesbos” and “Lesbians like frankfurters too”.  Frankfurt, Germany is considering suing due to this.

This is FrenchTV1 news from FrenchTV1.com – Roger DuPolee reporting

Sarah Palin Beauty Pageant Footage Uncovered

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McCain is Insane in the Membrane (Cypress Hill Parody Video)

A classic Cypress Hill song seems appropriate for one candidate in this election.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Ha, ha!  This was borrowed from here.

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Wonkette Steals Frenchtv1.com Story, No credit given

One of the writers of FrenchTV1.com tipped Wonkette about this.  No credit issued.  When we issued an official letter after an employee informed us Wonkette thanked the writer, but issued NO credit, Wonkette writer Sara Smith declined to comment.  Digg her down

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Official Confrims: Obama/Bayh 2008 is on.

WASHINGTON – Obama official confirms to FrenchTV1 that Bayh is “99% likely” to be Obama’s Choice for Vice President.

Recent pressure has been put on the Obama camp to confirm reports about why the website ObamaBayh08.com is a function of the BarackObama.com network.  Upon entering the address in the URL bar, an internet browser will be directed right to Obama’s main page.  The site was registered in 2007 by the same group that registered Obama’s 2008 campaign site, within a month of each other,  while using the same registration service (GoDaddy).  This site is only the latest in speculation that Obama will select Bayh.

Bayh, being asked by an NBC reporter, said he would consider being on the ticket and would feel “honored” if selected.  Bayh and Obama are idealogically close and have worked with each other in the Senate on many issues such as election reform and racial/religeous defence of muslims and mulsim groupd from stereotypes or being terrorists.

Contrary the intricacies between ObamaBayh08.com and ObamaBayh.com (a french established neutral site suggesting the two would be good with headlines about each of them), ObamaClinton / Hillary , ObamaNunn, and ObamaClark .com, and all such combinations involving 08, which would all be the prospective sites if Obama was on the ticket with any other prospective VP nominee, have no links to Obama’s man site or are non existant.  The urge for Obama to secure a website so far in advance for a ticket nvolvng a good friend of his is telling.  The two were reported as being seen together in meetings after the loss of Indiana by Obama.

Bayh was an ardent Clinton supporter, and having the Senator from Indiana on his side would be helpful in bringing Hillary suporters to the presumptive nominee.

ObamaBayh08.com Hint!

Frenchtv1.com, WASHINGTON – For three hours on Sunday BarackObama.com’s famous splash screen located before you enter the main site featured the notorious “O”, Eagle, Obama pose, and Bayh pose.  Yes, Obama AND Bayh were pictured on Obama’s official site.  The camaign will not respond as to why, but did remove it by afternoon. 

Obama Bayh Tandem pickinng up Steam

Many social networks have been buzzing about Obama Bayh possibilities based on our report, first broken by us on March 23rd.  Yahoo, Digg, and Facebook all have wondering users discuss this story.  No mainstream media has yet to announce any speculation or existance of the site.